broken circuits

nervous breakdowns follow me through the nothingness of everyday life

learning to survive without people among other people, little steps until

the emptiness becomes a friend

shadows of the past glide on the walls of my mind

relations burn fast, like matches blown by northern winds

losing control again and again, words of hope

die without a trace inside ones soul,

meaningless feelings brought from beyond

by scraps of happy recollections wrapped in smoke

fake angels, tongue full of ashes, the bottle is empty

listen to stories about Jesus Of The Bar, another shot

light from above, no money no beer, just a mere sense of solitude

that spreads, spreads through, burning humanity

filled with hate I wait, we wait…

that thing that will change something, battles are lost

insanity comes and acceptance becomes an art of living

punch the air, alone in rooms full of faces, imagine the fear

no way back, ex’s names called in confusion

in dark and cold places

maybe I always lived in illusion.

fragile images touched by trembling hands

fade away;

confessed my sins to strangers and whiskey

to little dwarfs and whores

contemplating vaginas in bathrooms

gone into deep, lost girls, hands, sweat, tongues, cheeks

wet nights overcome sunny days

and having nothing pays in the end.

I want to dance with witches at black masses

give me whiskey, vodka, gin and amphetamine

I take the blame

for I have brought shame to human relations

damned to stick my thoughts in black holes

dripping memories swallowed by unknown mouths.

islands of broken hearts united in motion

growing apart into the burning oceans of lust

happiness is sold on black markets

but only the privileged have access to it

denied is the neophyte

for he doesn’t know how much

should he pay.